2008/07/10 - Cocaine Gets a New Look in July Murrieta, CA – July 9, 2008 – Redux Beverages, the makers of Cocaine Energy Supplement and Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator announced that they are planning a new look for Cocaine. Although Redux had been planning to update the look and feel of its flagship product some time before 2009, a recent letter from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) dated July 7, 2008 prompted the company to introduce those changes by the end of July instead. The majority of the objections raised by the FDA involved the chalky-looking fonts used to spell out the name of the product and some of its ingredients. The names of the two fonts in question are “Squeaky Chalk Sound” and “Boring Lesson,” both licensed by Redux from German font designer Anke-Art (www.anke-art.de). On his website, Anke-Art explained that Squeaky Chalk Sound was created because he “needed a chalk font” and that Boring Lesson came about because “[t]here were quite a lot boring lessons at the University. So I played around with my fountain pen and ink eraser.” The FDA disagreed with Anke-Art about his Boring Lesson font, instead suggesting that the font “appear[s] to be cocaine powder … that has been ‘cut’ by an object (presumably a credit card or razor blade) to form letters.” School teachers everywhere should now be on notice that things written in chalk will be scrutinized more closely by the federal government and could subject the chalk-bearer to civil and criminal liability. No word from the government on whether a chalk ban is next, but school districts across the nation would be well-advised to consider a shift to dry-erase boards. But please, for goodness sake, do NOT sniff those markers! “This is just a case of runaway regulators running roughshod over free speech and the free market,” said Jamey Kirby, founder of Redux Beverages. “In the last year or so, the U.S. has experienced life-threatening problems with our domestic supply of tomatoes, spinach, peanut butter, imported seafood and even pet food. So, why is the FDA wasting its already-strained resources complaining about what fonts Redux is using to advertise our product? And it’s not like these guys are elected or accountable in any way. Hey, I know it’s an election year, but how, exactly, do we vote these regulators out of office?” As part of its new branding campaign, Redux will also replace the word “cut” with “mild” to signify the milder version of the product that has less of a spicy kick. In its letter, the FDA made it clear that such a change was important because the word “cut” constitutes “well-known terminology associated with and suggestive of illicit drug use.” Similarly, Redux may begin advising customers not to use a straw to drink Cocaine, or a dollar bill to pay for it, because both of those items could be misinterpreted by the FDA as illicit use of drug paraphernalia. The FDA letter opined that the overall marketing and labeling of the product – including the name, the chalky fonts, and the use of the word “cut” – violates FDA regulations because they demonstrate that Redux is trying to market its product as a replacement for an illicit street drug. The FDA was apparently unimpressed with the explicit statement to the contrary found on each can of the product: “This product is not intended to be anything more than an energy drink.” In an attempt to be even more explicit, Redux will introduce cans of Cocaine that instruct consumers as follows: “This product is not intended to be an alternative to an illicit street drug, and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot, a government bureaucrat, or both.” “Let’s be clear: the FDA has never claimed that our product contains anything harmful,” said Clegg Ivey, general counsel for Redux. “Moreover, it’s not even the FDA’s position that the name itself is illegal. I asked them straight up if it’s just about the name, but they say, no, the legality of the product depends on whether Redux is marketing it as a an alternative for an illicit street drug. Well, of course we’re not marketing our product as an alternative to the illicit street drug, and it’s just silly to suggest otherwise.” “Whether or not the FDA really believes its own ridiculous claims,” Ivey continued, “the most expedient way to deal with their issues is to change the aspects of our marketing that enable them to mischaracterize our intentions – except for the name, of course, which the First Amendment gives us the right to keep.” Redux plans to introduce the new and improved look for Cocaine by the end of July. Marketing changes will include new, chalkless fonts, even cheekier warning labels, and fewer words and phrases that are liable to quicken the pulses of federal regulators or otherwise cause feinting spells in the halls of justice. |
2008/07/07 - Cocaine Set to Hit U.K. Drinks Trade Cocaine, a controversial US energy drink, containing 350% more caffeine than Red Bull, is preparing its UK launch. Speaking exclusively to the Morning Advertiser, sources from the newly-formed company Ocke Cokey confirmed that the high-caffeine stimulant drink, made from guarana and containing 750 milligrams of taurine, will be available in both the on and off-trade this summer. The new product will be rolled out in red 8.4oz cans with the words ‘Cut Cocaine’ spelled out in a white granular substance. Sources added: “It is going to create controversy, but that’s the beauty of this name – everyone that objects to it is going to be selling my product.” “You’ve got products like the perfumes ‘Charlie’ and ‘Opium’ and they’re fine.” The US version of the Cocaine drink contained wasabi and cinnamon to “numb the throat to simulate the effect of taking cocaine”. The US brand, which used the tagline “the legal alternative”, was relaunched by Redux Beverages in February following complaints from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) last year over its purported health benefits. http://www.morningadvertiser.co.uk/news.ma/article/80030 |
2008/07/04 - The Soft Drink Called Cocaine that Claims to be the Legal Alternative to Drugs A soft drink named Cocaine could be on the shelves within weeks. Billed as the ‘legal alternative’ to the Class A drug, the high energy drink has three times more caffeine than its rival, Red Bull. It expected to be launched in Britain this summer and will be sold with the word ‘Cocaine’ spelled out in what looks like a white granular substance, resembling the recreational drug, on the side of the can. Yesterday anti-drugs charities accused the drink’s makers of ‘cynical and irresponsible’ marketing which could tempt young people in trying drugs. Alcohol groups are also likely to protest against the drink as fears grow about the effects of high caffeine drinks, such as Red Bull, on young drinkers. Harry Shapiro, director of DrugScope, said: ‘This is clearly a piece of cynical and irresponsible marketing. However, I hope people will not be fooled by it. ‘They have obviously picked this name because it is a high energy stimulant drink and there are other high energy stimulants out there – cocaine being one of them.’ David Raynes, of the UK National Drug Prevention Alliance, added: ‘It is people exploiting drugs. It is a pretty cynical tactic exploiting illegal drugs for their own benefit. ‘The fact is that subliminally it is making the image of drug use cool and that’s what kids want to be, cool. Kids will be drinking Cocaine and will inevitably link the two. The drink is relatively innocuous, but they will be linking it with cocaine use and the market, which is far from innocuous.’ The Cocaine drink is made from guarana, a natural ‘caffeine’ berry from South America, and contains 350 per cent more caffeine than Red Bull. Las Vegas-based drinks company Redux Beverages claim the only way to get more caffeine per ounce is with an espresso. The U.S. version of the drink also contained wasabi and cinnamon, which numbed the throat to mimic the effect of taking cocaine for drinkers. However, in February this year Redux was forced to relaunch the drink after complaints from the Food and Drug Administration over its purported health benefits. A source from the newly-formed UK parent company Ocke Cokey, based in Kent, said the drink will be on the shelves in the next few weeks. ‘It is going to create controversy, but that’s the beauty of this name – everyone that objects to it is going to be selling my product,’ the source said. ‘You’ve got products like the perfumes Charlie and Opium and they’re fine.’ Concern has been growing in recent times in Britain about the effects of high caffeine drinks, such as Red Bull, on young people. Last month one high school in Worthing, West Sussex, made headlines after it banned pupils from drinking Red Bull on the premises. Anne Ward, head of Chatsmore Catholic High, said she took action because of concerns that it was affecting pupils’ behaviour. They were buying the drink on their way to school and being hyperactive and disruptive in lessons, she said. Red Bull is also used as a mixer by teenagers and young adults when drinking spirits such as vodka. One can of a high-energy drink contains roughly the same amount of caffeine as a cup of filter coffee – or two cups of instant. Drunk in moderation, caffeine is a stimulant and drinking it ‘wakes up’ the person, giving them a jolt. But drunk in excess, it can lead to insomnia, anxiety and hyperactivity. |